mood: pasque



Oh, I was in a mood +

I felt tired. lethargic - like sitting inside too much has led to me feeling tired and wanting to sit inside too much - thinking too much - feeling the isolation in this desert landscape.

Yes, dancing around, playing records, playing cards, playing at what it would be like, to be, together. Making food, making medicine, making plans, making eyes, and masks; for my community…

Endless possibility in the thick of it - the juice is such a rich color - deep red - an introvert’s dream/ Writing and reading and attending online lectures - but stillness overall, and much time to ponder on pondering - my own morals and goals and how to be in right relationship with others, God, Goddess, a thawing...

Which is not so different from my regular routine, working from home -

living in nature, away from society…

”Spirit, mind, body, and greater societies’ watchful gaze, they’re gazing at you, my love” - [poems I’ve written that never leave me]


— my mind needed movement; my body too; I needed sunshine - a walk.


The wind in spring is so chaotic here! Cosmic Spring, chaos in the overwhelming Vata of the season - it just blows across the mesas and picks up speed by the time it gets to the foothills - the trees help to break the impact - but it is ruthless…

makes going outside less pleasurable…

And with the human race on global lockdown from this active pandemic - ‘going out’ is not on the menu; but going out in nature - like the salad - is always there; waiting for us to make the choice - interact and interconnect and weave ourselves into the wild. I go walking to bless myself, but I go walking to bless the mother as well; she recognizes me by my long skirt, brushing against her earthen skin in gratitude; like women before me; whom walk barefoot and kiss the sky!


The road to the rio grande gorge - wild rivers -

I cant remember the name of the trail - starts with a C

I wasn’t looking for anything specific, other than my sanity…

Just to move my body and walk and be near the river.

I am slowly making the decent into the gorge, taking my time on the switchbacks, as I have run out of the house without proper shoes; these old tennies have slip…

Thinking about the sun and my red hat, thinking about the sage, and how it never really dies back - even in winter; strong, potent, relevant always - resilient like that -

the chatter in my mind is slowly fading, as I am observing the landscape.

Watching birds glide through the open gap in the earth, over the green water, soaring and watching their own shadow dance across the red rock face…a little gray bird in the foreground catches my eye; sings to me something short and sweet, and flies off - I look to see where its gone, but its so steep over the edge of the trail - I lost it in the rock face somewhere…looking up, looking out, and then I stop…(this often happens when I have come across something that wants my attention while out in nature - I stop walking, as if someone has told me to hault! ) I instinctively look around for what I am guessing is a lizard or a chipmunk; but when I look up - there I see her;



A single stand of short purple flowers, lilac and ivory, yolk and butter yellow center - 6 petals, the only soft thing in this harsh winter landscape; which is the beauty of all spring ephemerals - they stand as spring’s offering amongst residual winter - stark contrast of colors against brown dirt and leaf litter…They are the most electric yet subtle, just beautiful flowers I’ve seen, of all the flowers I’ve seen; so elusive; here and then gone; and many of them carry powerful medicine - like that of Trillium; birth root; the midwives used to carry on themselves; which mesmerized me when I first laid eyes on it, that spring day at Wellspring mountain in North Carolina, electric green and deep blood red - long stem shooting towards the moon, asking to awe…

Back in the high desert, my mind gets present with the gorgeous being infront of me…ephemeral darling - the sweetest purple...

the butterflies are going crazy for her…

you’d think someone just told me about a plate of gf cookies near by, because my face LIT up, smiling from ear to ear…Pasque, windflower, pulsatilla patens; I knew her name the minute I laid eyes on her, although I had never been on this particular hike- nor have I seen her in the wild. But she is not to be missed - pasque - like passover - a few days before a full supermoon in Libra, in the season of Aries - and passover too- it should make sense that it would be flowering here, near the river, with the celestial bodies - as it has been since the beginning of time…


I have been so fond of this medicine from afar, always hoping on my wildcrafting adventures to come across it- was one of my main reasons for coming out west. To know the plants of the southwest more intimately - and in particular - my dear pulsatilla; whose medicine in single drops, took away my tears, mended my broken heart, added depth to these blue eyes; showed me how small delicate, feminine things can be powerful, strong and moving. Some people would call this flower toxic, poisonous - but it’s toxicity is dose dependent - like that of our blessed lobelia - very small doses - 1-5 drops; 25 drops or 1ml in a 60ml recipe - and you can feel just that little bit; almost immediately it relaxes the mind. Puts your worries at ears, wipes your tears, and makes you feel held, delicate yourself - teaches you how to be delicate with yourself. that violet ray of soul medicine.


A remedy for “an overactive Vata mind” - again, with the Vata season of wind -

it is here at this moment, in time, as a symbol : a blessing : a prayer

for calmer days and peace

a declaration for our Mother Queen, long live the queen...

Earth Provides;

Peace on Earth.

Pulsatilla wants to be prepared for medicinal use, as a super fresh tincture - like putting it directly into a jar of alcohol after harvesting, kind of fresh…

yet - I wasn’t planning on wildcrafting today, I just wanted to go for a stroll in the backyard, and am without such materials..

For anxiety - there is no superior medicine for my constitution; fair skin, hair, and eyes with a disposition towards that piscean way, eyes filled with water - seeking new visions -


I have been having off and on panic attacks due to the stress of our modern day, and could really benefit from this flower’s wisdom. But it is the only stand I see…one of the first rules in wildcrafting is never take from the first plant you meet- it shows respect to the plants; and often - that specimen will lead you to a stand of more abundance down the path; and then you only take 1/3 of what is there…but there are only a handful of flowers here, and the pollinators are in such need - nothing else like this around to feed off for a mile or so - as far as the eye can see…


I walk on further down the path, after a butterfly darts at me - warning me to leave the flowers and their nectar, for the pollinators… I see no other stand - it is the only one;

I cannot harvest.

I must sit with the medicine and meditate with it, since this is such a rare opportunity for me; ask her what she needs to tell me, what’s gifts of the mind we can translate together…I touch the aerial parts (the parts used for the tincture) - gently caress the petals with my fingertips - and then put my fingertips to my forehead.. energetically make a passover cross over the ajna center - third eye - say a little blessing to carry its essence with me..


And I walk on.


And that’s the medicine - letting go, and moving forward; ephemeral - so beautiful and electric, but subtle and necessary…it is manually stimulating all the many centers that make your vital signs read - active - not stagnant - wants to live - wants to step out of the cyclical dark and into the light - a glow up*

Telling the lesser lives of my cellular being to keep singing in unison for the benefit of us all- air that is breathe, and sun that is food, movement which is fire - in the element of water that I AM. Water am I/ and the plants - the plants are earth, and they are ether - cosmic beings, one in us all…

grateful for all that are here to witness +

With a beam of love,

Green blessings

Jaide.




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